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What is this suitcase time that everyone is talking about?
By mathurst, 07-Oct-2011 13:43:00
I recently woke up after a night out with a song in my head. It was a new song. It was a catchy song. It was 5 seconds long and didn't make any sense. But I lay there and ran it over and over in my head ad nauseum. The lyrics?
"Suitcase time at a quarter to nine... It's Orla" (my dog)
The tune is harder to explain, but if I ever get my arse into gear I will record it and post it. Then sell it to some company that wants you to sing it's pointless, nonsensical jingle-bilge in the street, thus, unwittingly, doing it's dirty bidding. Of course, I am not sure which companies are selling suitcase time these days. Especially at a quarter to nine.
2 Comments
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1. 11-Oct-2011 07:28:00 by Pippa
love the blog Mat. Can't wait to hear the completed song. Or should it be left as it is in an ebryonic stage?
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2. 11-Oct-2011 08:16:00 by Suitcase Time
The song will come. Just need to get my hands on an 80s synthesiser and work out how to edit it all together. Watch this space.
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(It's good...)
Suitcase Time
My brain is full. A stark realisation, but I am 83% certain that it is true. I am able to learn new things, but it means that they are replacing things that I knew before. I cannot buy more memory, for I am not a computer, so I have decided to write down my thoughts in an effort to maintain them, as well as take on new knowledge. I will dub this enterprising endeavour "Suitcase time."
I don't know this guy, but he makes my blog look official
Get in touch
If you are moved by the poetry that I am writing, feel free to contact me:
mathurst@mail.com
mathurst
mathurst
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Comments
...or she wants something?
Thanks Rachel. You are obviously very clever.
Love it, love it, love it. Suitcase time has become my motivation to get out of bed every morning. GENIUS!
Love it, love it, love it. Suitcase time has become my motivation to get out of bed every morning. GENIUS!
You luckily have a few years before the mortifying day when someone offers you their seat because you're SO OLD. That's not fun either and leaves you wondering whether it's worth being recognised as decrepit just to have a seat for 2 underground stations.
I am working on the payment situation. If you buy one I will hand deliver it, post-it note and all. I will also take BOGOF into consideration for members. It will only be available in the secret area... I've already said too much.
I'd buy one of your artworks if
a) you did BOGOF
b) the 'add to basket' button worked
In the meantime I'll have a rummage under your old bed to see what moneyspinners you left behind. Well done for not adding on P&P.
What does it all mean...Can Suitcase Time answer the fundamental questions of philosophy, religion and effective U-bend solutions?
Woody Allen once said "Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends".
Taking this to be a profound insight into the human condition I did, eventually, get a plumber in over the weekend - but still, after the bankruptcy hearings were finally at an end, spiritual enlightenment remained elusive.
Your blog "Suitcase Time", however, has proved to be far more powerful in addressing the big existential questions about life, the universe and plumbing. After reading it for the first time, I smashed the aforementioned plumber in face with a steel chair and this immediately opened up to me a new world of peace and enlightenment. No doubt this was your intention all along, so I wanted to send you a personal message of thanks and appreciation, along with this invoice for £4,712 care of Pimlico Plumbers.
I look forward, with a deep and strange yearning, to further profound and uplifting content in the next instalment – and if eliminating limescale from those awkward showerhead nozzles can be mentioned then we will be holding true to the deepest principles of the Dalia Lama, who says ‘I may be a smiley bald man in a bright-orange dress – but I am buggered if I am going to put up with shoddy showering facilities.’