-
Science is sneaky
By mathurst, 11-Oct-2011 13:26:00
During a self-defence based class yesterday, I inevitably found myself lying on my front, completely unable to move. This was not unusual in itself, but how it happened was. I was very gently lowered to the ground by someone half my size with no effort, no pain and no desire to prevent it on my behalf.
I do not claim to understand the ins and outs of how this occured, but it led me to think that science is pretty hecking sneaky. In this instance, biology. That's right biology, what the hell? You sit there with your fruit flies in test tubes at school, all innocent and innocuous, being mostly boring. Then - BAM! An undisclosed number of years later you come across all interesting and useful, and I don't understand.
Other sneaky things that science needs to take responsibility for:
Putting a rattle on a snake, creating the rattlesnake (biology)
Gravity - it was there for ages before anyone noticed (physics)
If you run across a swimming pool of custard, you will not sink+. (physics - I think)
Carbon Monoxide and other colourless, odourless poisonous gasses (chemistry)
There is a tiny shrimp that can click it's mandibles so loud that it once sunk a cruise ship* (biology)
Aircraft carriers - how the dickens do those things float? (physics)
*estimated fact
+someone told me this once and someone else concurred
0 Comments
(It's good...)
Suitcase Time
My brain is full. A stark realisation, but I am 83% certain that it is true. I am able to learn new things, but it means that they are replacing things that I knew before. I cannot buy more memory, for I am not a computer, so I have decided to write down my thoughts in an effort to maintain them, as well as take on new knowledge. I will dub this enterprising endeavour "Suitcase time."
I don't know this guy, but he makes my blog look official
Get in touch
If you are moved by the poetry that I am writing, feel free to contact me:
mathurst@mail.com
mathurst
mathurst
You are viewing the text version of this site.
To view the full version please install the Adobe Flash Player and ensure your web browser has JavaScript enabled.
Need help? check the requirements page.
Comments
...or she wants something?
Thanks Rachel. You are obviously very clever.
Love it, love it, love it. Suitcase time has become my motivation to get out of bed every morning. GENIUS!
Love it, love it, love it. Suitcase time has become my motivation to get out of bed every morning. GENIUS!
You luckily have a few years before the mortifying day when someone offers you their seat because you're SO OLD. That's not fun either and leaves you wondering whether it's worth being recognised as decrepit just to have a seat for 2 underground stations.
I am working on the payment situation. If you buy one I will hand deliver it, post-it note and all. I will also take BOGOF into consideration for members. It will only be available in the secret area... I've already said too much.
I'd buy one of your artworks if
a) you did BOGOF
b) the 'add to basket' button worked
In the meantime I'll have a rummage under your old bed to see what moneyspinners you left behind. Well done for not adding on P&P.
What does it all mean...Can Suitcase Time answer the fundamental questions of philosophy, religion and effective U-bend solutions?
Woody Allen once said "Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends".
Taking this to be a profound insight into the human condition I did, eventually, get a plumber in over the weekend - but still, after the bankruptcy hearings were finally at an end, spiritual enlightenment remained elusive.
Your blog "Suitcase Time", however, has proved to be far more powerful in addressing the big existential questions about life, the universe and plumbing. After reading it for the first time, I smashed the aforementioned plumber in face with a steel chair and this immediately opened up to me a new world of peace and enlightenment. No doubt this was your intention all along, so I wanted to send you a personal message of thanks and appreciation, along with this invoice for £4,712 care of Pimlico Plumbers.
I look forward, with a deep and strange yearning, to further profound and uplifting content in the next instalment – and if eliminating limescale from those awkward showerhead nozzles can be mentioned then we will be holding true to the deepest principles of the Dalia Lama, who says ‘I may be a smiley bald man in a bright-orange dress – but I am buggered if I am going to put up with shoddy showering facilities.’